Random reflections of a very tall notary
A random selection of girls who refused to go out with me
Advice from
Mum
Aunty May talking through the whole of the second half
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Aunty May, with prune juice & Songs of Praise
Breaking another one
of Mum’s vases
Buying my first suit
with Mum
Coming back from
the party
Coming under intense pressure to do my homework
Coming under relentless pressure for a piece of my doughnut
Contemplating
a wank
Dad getting away
from us all
Dad giving me advice
about girls
Dad making an effort not to enjoy himself
Dad trying to
speak French
Dad with hire deckchair and the whitest legs on the beach
Dad would have a mini rant about Margaret Thatcher at most meal times
Discussing girls, football, music and girls again (over a bottle of cider)
Discussing the
loft conversion
“Don’t you dare speak to your father like that!”
“Do you have to
do that now?”
Exhausted parents
with red wine
Family
Portrait
Feeling cool in
my new flares
Feeling self conscious in my bloody massive shiny new school shoes
“For God’s sake put your pyjamas on David”
Hangover
Having a laugh with my mates at the leisure centre
I always knew where I stood with my piano teacher
I always left my revision
to the last minute
“I’m going to have to turn the page in a minute Noel”
Looking for
the hamster
Losing my virginity in
North Wales
Me, Mum and the
coat I’d grow into
Mr White never threw
our ball back
Mum’s friend with
one of her puddings
Mum and Dad
arguing on holiday
“Mum! Dad’s saying rude words about footballers on the television again”
“Mum, what are you and Dad doing in there?”
My mum could
chat for ages
No one in our family could throw a frisbee properly
Nobody in our family could ever answer the questions on University Challenge
One eye on
Match of the Day
One girl in my class always wore
red knickers
One of Mum’s friends asking if I’ve got a girlfriend yet
Our tortoise was always trying to escape
Still life with Aunty May’s
bottom set
Surreptitiously relieving myself at Barry Island
The first kid in our class to have a go at growing a moustache
Thinking about my long term future
Throwing apples at
Dad’s underpants
Trying to avoid speaking to an ex girlfriend
Trying to avoid the woman with the white dog who talks too much
Trying to impress
my first girlfriend
Very chatty
neighbour
